I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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