erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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