i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
