I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize