Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
