Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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