I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
