Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
