I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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