'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
