atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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