Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
