I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
