The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
its liver damage thursday
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
