If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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