At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
