Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
PANTIES FOUND
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