yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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