I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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