She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
