there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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