I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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