She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
