Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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