I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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