3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
