You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
now i know why i became what i already was.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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