is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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