If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize