I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
