Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
