not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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