Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
