Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
