I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
high people should be assigned attendants
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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