kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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