I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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