the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
