You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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