Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
