ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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