I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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