What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
