I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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