I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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