No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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