1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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