My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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