You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
