Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
