There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
