woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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