he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
