should my penis look like a turkey
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
