I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
