well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
