Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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