We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
